A dreaded stereosaurus escaped from the American Museum of Natural History yesterday, sending screaming crowds of panic-stricken New Yorkers fleeing from the city in terror.
"Make no bones about it," the fearsome carnivore roared as it leaped from the pedestal it had placidly occupied for many decades. "I'm sick and tired of being taken for granite. I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it any more."
While most city officials pleaded for calm, Mayor Rudy Giuliani said he wasn't worried. "New York's a tough town," the Mayor remarked. "Twenty-four hours on the streets of this city and that pusillanimous pile of Paleozoic petrification will be pleading to get his place back at the Museum."
Museum officials, meanwhile, were said to be making plans to establish a village of Beanie Babies in the area formerly occupied by the stereosaurus.
Canon EOS Rebel X cameras, twinned bottom-to-bottom; 35-80 zoom lenses; electronically synched to single Vivitar 285 flash. F/11 at 1/20 sec., hand-held. Fujicolor 400 film.